Why is it so hard to love myself?
Self love is a tricky topic and something that is often explored in therapy…
Many things hinder our ability to love ourselves such as unrealistic societal expectations and assumptions, stereotypes of the boxes people think you should fit into, toxic beauty standards, the way white supremacy and heteronormativity show up in our culture and tells us that we are unacceptable if we do not look or do things a certain way, trauma from the childhood of constantly being compared to other kids and told we are not good enough, our identities never being validated or affirmed, our bodies being picked apart by friends or family members, never being told that we are beautiful the way we are, and the list goes on and on
These things are problematic because they hinder our ability to believe in ourselves and know who we are because we are constantly trying to seek validation in external things such as in materials or in people, we shrink ourselves to please others to be affirmed, or we are constantly running away from ourselves because we believe that we are not good enough by someone else’s standards
The cliche saying is if you can’t love yourself then how can you love others
I think the saying should be if you can’t love yourself then it may be more difficult to show up for others but I would rather you want to start your journey of self-love because you want to rather than you’re worried about other people because a lot of the time that is how we ended up in this self-hatred or identity crisis in the first place
There is no formula or quick path to loving yourself but understanding why you have trouble with it is a great place to start
Comment below if self-love is something you struggle with and share what has helped you 💗
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